THE DEAF KING

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Neverland, a prince called Michael was lying on the grass. It was a sunny day and the birds sang happy melodies to the flowers. The smell of a chocolate pie caressed his face while he happily fell asleep. He was so full after eating so many incredible and exotic dishes cooked by his beloved mother, that he didn´t realize his head was lying on an anthill. Michael groaned in deep slumber while millions of ants suffered a small earthquake. They all went out to see what was going on. One stupid human was using their anthill as a pillow! The ants started to evacuate their community and invaded his ears, biting his eardrums. Michael screamed in pain. Suddenly, he started to hear voices inside his head:

―You destroyed our house, so now we’ll make our nest in your ears. We will not move from here. You will have to feed us for the rest of our lives and if you try to take us out, we will continue digging inside your head until we reach your brain, take over your body and kill you.

So, from one day to another, Michael became almost deaf. His ears were full of ants and they were hungrier every day and he had to fulfil all their needs. But things got worse. All of a sudden the king died and Prince Michael had to be crowned immediately.  But he could never be king of Neverland if he couldn´t listen. Michael´s mother, decided he had to marry his cousin, princess Aniuska from Russia. She was a beautiful, tall, blonde girl. She was sweet, she was attractive, she was patient, she cooked well, she was smart and she loved Michael.   Her only defect she had were her big ears that made her look funny, but in this case, this was going to be an advantage. Let´s say they were a perfect match. So, although Michael was the king, Aniuska was the one ruling behind him.

Michael was getting worse every day. The ants were creating a huge anthill in his head. His life was in serious danger. On the other hand, people were astonished with the young king, who spent all day speaking to nobody and eating carrots with his ears. Rumours spread all over the kingdom. Neverland had a deaf king and a Russian queen was in charge of the reigns. That was unacceptable. Therefore, conspiracy grew all over the seven kingdoms and many kings and queens were planning to kidnap Aniuska and take over the reign. Meanwhile, the queen continued to answer and make decisions from a small chair close to king Michael`s throne. Poor Aniuska, nobody told her that her lovely husband had become deaf, and that she had to make all the decisions of the reign. If she had known that, she would never have married Michael. Really, the young King was little help. He could only feed and fight the anthill in his head. People were getting used to see him putting lamb chops, roasted chicken or even lettuce in his ears. In the court, he only had to mumble yes or no, depending which eye Aniuska blinked. But she was getting tired of Michael. She had all the worries while he was all day eating and feeding his bloody anthill. He had no time for her. And in a way she was jealous about his ants too. They seemed to deserve more attention than her.

One day a famous circus arrived to the Neverland. They had incredible clowns and exotic animals.  From one day to another, Aniuska fell in love with the lion trainer. He was tall, well built, tanned, handsome, danced salsa and wasn´t deaf. They soon started a romance and she escaped with him to México. The owner of the circus was so ashamed that he gave King Michael a present. It was an exotic animal. It looked like a dog, but had a long trunk like an elephant. The king put his head next to his cage to see better the strange animal. When the animal stretched its tongue into his ears and started to munch the ants. It was an anteater! Michael realized that the animal could help him, so he unbolted the cage and let the animal stay with him. After two weeks of licking his ears, his lovely pet had finished its work and Michael was a normal person again. He thought he was lucky, considering that even though he lost his wife, he had recovered his ears. Anyway, he was the king; he could find a new wife whenever he wanted. That was the positive side of the situation, but the negative side was darker than the night: Neverland was in absolute chaos. It had nearly disintegrated in his clumsy hands. Nobody paid their taxes, muggers and murderers were on every road, hiding behind the bushes like wolves. Every day, there where thousands of problems he had to sort out by himself. He doubted everything and had to ask his servants what to do in each case. He was getting stressed. He couldn’t sleep. There were people starving, wars coming and diseases everywhere.

He just went mad and started praying. He wanted to be deaf again. So he ran through the garden trying to find an anthill to put his head onto. He walked through the forest, across the rivers and mountains but he couldn’t find a single one. “How strange “, he thought. Then something weird happened. A big red ant came across his path. It told him that rumours about a furious elephant that could eat an anthill in a glance, were spreading among the ants community of Neverland so they had escape to Nowhereland. Michael was shocked. If millions of ants were in Nowhereland they were probably eating all the crops. Soon, Nowhereland would be starving and if they somehow realized that the plague came from Neverland, they would declare war and invade them. Many people would die. Probably they were already trying to find him and kill him. He became panicked and started running. His life flashed before his eyes. He didn´t wanted to be king. It was too demanding. He just wanted to lie in the garden, belly full; yawning after a good breakfast and dreaming about being an actor or a rock star singer with thousands of fans. Life was incredibly good when he was a prince. But since he became king, everything had gone wrong. Why life was so stressful? He asked himself.

After coming to the conclusion that this was all stupid nonsense, he realized he didn´t know where he was. He was lost. The land was strange to him. People wore big hats that looked like flying saucers. They sang on the streets with trumpets and strange guitars. Everything was new to him. He was scared, but at the same time he began to feel better. Nobody knew him. He had no responsibilities. He had only to take care of himself. He sat on the side of the road smiling to the sun. Breathing spicy air while he enjoyed the landscape. Up in the hill he could see a circus tent and all around him there were children and flowers. What a nice sight! Again he was relaxed. Suddenly, he noticed that a girl was crying on the other side of the road. Her face looked familiar to him. It was Aniuska!

―What are you doing here? ― He asked.

― You! Everything is your fault!

― Oh god!!Everything is my fault. She’s right; she’s always right. ―he thought. Then he tried to hug her but she was furious:

―All men are the same. Behaving like selfish little creatures.  You spent all day fighting your bloody ants in your head and he was all day playing with his stupid lions. Why did you never listen to me?!

― Sorry darling, but If you remember I was deaf at that time― said Michael ironically and thought about running again. Aniuska stopped screaming and realised Michael had changed.

After a few minutes, they realized that they couldn´t live without each other. Aniuska was sure that being a queen was better that being a trapeze artist and Michael realized that without her, he couldn´t  rule Neverland’ s soil. So… they went back home and started a family. Aniuska took over Neverland and brought up his three kids. Michael just sat on the throne, dreaming about being a famous actor who plays a king in a Shakespeare play. And ―except for the people of Nowhereland― everybody lived happily ever after.

(Of course, this true story happened long before women´s rights were discovered)